On Style: Pea Coats...

There is one pea coat that stands above the rest. Hold onto your hats though, gents, because it isn’t cheap, but oh my God is it worth it if you have the best part of a grand (although currently on sale at the much more reasonable £500 mark – check them out at: http://www.crombie.co.uk/coats/mens.html ) to spare: the Crombie classic pea coat is the stand-out example of this timeless fashion staple.

Churchill himself wore the Crombie version, albeit a slightly longer cut in those days, and many other movie stars and political luminaries have sported the coat that screams serious style.

Given that the price tag reflects the heritage and luxury of the brand, you might be unable to afford or justify such an extravagance, but fear not: there are plenty of decent brands that offer a cheaper and perfectly acceptable alternative.

The traditional style calls for a knee-length cut, but waist-length, bomber hybrids have become popular over the last 5 years, with H&M releasing a particularly tasty number in their Paolo Maldini modelled range of 2006.

There are also a couple of nice jackets – especially the navy blue of this style – circulating from Calvin Klein Jeans; the more affordable end of the CK range. This season’s offering comes in at about £280 unless you snap-up a TK Maxx bargain for £100 as I had the opportunity to do over Christmas.

But really it’s all about Crombie. Founded in 1805, this long-standing British tailoring outfit has experienced some highs and lows, most recently sinking into a brief administration prior to a buy-out and re-float. There were fears that the new owners would attempt to ‘re-brand’ the label and move away from the company’s roots/. Fortunately, this hasn’t happened, and in a rare move for times dominated by an ability to shed ones industrial skin at the speed of a snake, Crombie have chosen to stand fast and have railed against the flippancy of lesser brands, believing in their heritage and product that has, in the past, been championed by a list of great men such as King George VI, Winston Churchill, Cary Grant, Dwight D Eisenhower and John F Kennedy, Gorbachev and the Prince of Wales.

If that’s not a roll of honour, I don’t know what it.


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On Style: Trench Coats...

They’re in, they’re out, no need to shake them all about, because they are normally nominally waterproof…it’s the immortal trench!

For me – and this will grate on those of you with a mini-budget – there is nothing quite like a Burberry trench coat in their classic beige. I haven’t got one; I can’t afford it, but one day I will own one and wear it to death.

For all of us who can’t quite stretch to the 3-4 figure sum needed to pick-up one of the most recognisable trademarks of British fashion, they are a wealth of stylish, affordable alternatives, especially from everybody’s favourite fallback, Topman.

I have one black trench from Topman that cost me £65 the week it came out. It’s a pretty short example, with the hem only reaching the upper-middle of my thigh; it has a waist buckle to enhance the top-heavy profile that these shorter cuts frame well; its collar is compliant when instructed to stand-up (always) and smart when folded over; and it has a rudimentary ability to keep the rain out.

But it’s thin and faded fast. After a few heavy downpours, the edging went a bit grey, and despite the aesthetic qualities of the bold, thick white stripe-edged lining feels a bit tacky.

So my advice for a cheap, sub-£100 trench coat is stay away from black.

In terms of wardrobe composition, too, this is no bad move. Your heavier, woollen coats – pea coats for example – should be darker, so why not try a beige, stone, camel, fawn or whatever the hell you want to call the colour made famous by the checks of Burberry.

The lighter trench is also nice for the summer, as it can be worn for a little extra warmth and removed and folded-up to fit in a bag without any bother whatsoever.

Get shopping


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On Style: Frock Coats...

The occasions on which one can wear a frock, or morning coat, are lamentably few and far between. Weddings and Aintree have been the playgrounds of this Victorian gentleman’s staple for too long!

Now, the problem is that despite its undisputed elegance and the benefits it can offer your figure, the frock coat is so outlandish an item that to wear it in anything other than an extremely formal situation is a bit too much. It is important to remember the boundaries of men’s fashion, tighter as they are than the female’s counterpart, restrict how ‘out-there’ we can be without looking like we’re off to a fancy dress party as Oscar Wilde.

Throughout the course of this series of posts I have preached the advantages of clean-cut minimalism, with personal quirks restricted to subtle variations of the norm. The frock coat is a bridge too far to qualify for such a rule, and should be worn with caution. You should own one – you can pick up amazing vintage examples for around £50 if you’re lucky enough to find one in your size (I’ve even had a 42” chest example in my collection that cost a mere fiver, but I had to pass it on to someone it fit) – but you resist the temptation to wear it at every opportunity.

I’m a fan of making a statement: oftentimes I’ve turned up to the roughest pub in Glossop – which happens to be my local and preferred drinking hole – in a full suit, pocket square and silk tie shebang, and got on rather well with it. But that’s only because people know what a suit looks like and, despite the alien location, the clothes themselves are nothing bizarre. A frock coat is bizarre in any situation other than dinner parties, the races or, regrettably, weddings.

But that’s not to say you can’t go to a fancy dress party as Oscar Wilde, Doctor Watson or Prince Albert. For that reason, it’s a necessary addition to your arsenal, albeit a one limited to freak events and lounging around your house on sick days watching Homes Under the Hammer.

Just a thought…


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NFL Round-up: Week 16...

Welcome to Week 16. What’s new in NFL land? Well, let me tell you: the AFC is all sewn-up. Take a look at the seeding below:

1st The New England Patriots (Winners of AFC East)
2nd The Pittsburgh Steelers or Baltimore Ravens
3rd The Indianapolis Colts (Winners of AFC South)
4th The Kansas City Chiefs (Winners of AFC West)
5th The Pittsburgh Steelers or Baltimore Ravens
6th The New York Jets (Runners-up in AFC East)

So the Patriots and either the Steelers/Ravens will sit out week one of the playoffs with the Chiefs playing the runners-up of the AFC North at home. They should lose to either road team, which will set-up a rematch between the two tough-nosed tusslers. And I believe it will be one of two intra-divisional matchups in the divisional round of the playoffs.

The Colts are due to play the Jets. Manning has never lost to Rex Ryan, but the bold and brash coach is determined to change that. I think he will. The Colts are favourite at home and in the playoffs, but the Jets are a solid, run-first team, tailor made in the old school mould for a deep run in the playoffs. Don’t be surprised in the Jets make it through to face the cruising Pats, who just can’t wait to make the season series 2-1 over their biggest rivals.

Ouch and smash! The Seahawks got beat by the Buccaneers, which means Tampa Bay are still clinging to an outside shot of making the playoffs. If the Giants and Packers lose next week and the Bucs top the World Champion New Orleans Saints.

So what does that mean for the Seahawks, who are locked in a tight battle for the NFC West? Nothing, really: the Seahawks still have to win next week. A win at the last will tie up their record with St. Louis, who hold a meaningless one game lead in the division, and hand them the fourth seed and homefield advantage in the first round of the playoffs.


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On Style: Umbrella...

The question of how many umbrellas you need may seem like a totally frivolous one and is entirely dependant on how seriously you take form, function and fashion.

I would say that two is the bare minimum: one small, collapsible umbrella to stash in your bag when you think it might rain and a large, full-length, hook-handled umbrella for posh, dressier occasions.

You really do only need one small umbrella – Fulton is a decent make, but the activation spring does tend to give-out after a couple of years of abuse. I’d still fight their corner, though, and at around £20 from Debenhams in a variety of styles, they are a solid, stylish mid-range umbrella that you can rely on.

With the two staples in place you can start to ask yourself whether further additions to your sleet-slaying arsenal are necessary or desired.

Your considerations should run thusly: are you concerned about matching the colour of the ferrule with your belt buckle and watch case? If the answer is yes then you should purchase two ‘dress’ umbrellas, one with gold and one with silver. I’ve never yet seen a rose gold variety, but there may be one out there. Even if there’s no such thing available, you might be able to go the old plating route as discussed previously, but that is an extremity to which I am yet to travel.

Furthermore, you might want to consider the colour of the hook handle. Brown, matt walnut is a nice finish, but varnished black looks better with a really smart business suit. If you find it essential to cover every possibility (with the exception of the elusive rose gold) you will need four dress umbrellas and one fold-away, making a total of five.

Excessive? Of course. Desirable? Definitely. Justifiable? Good luck.


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On Style: Gloves...

This here is a short and sweet post with simple rules and a couple of recommendations.

Every gent should own at least two pairs of leather gloves – one in brown, one in black.

I recommend Rocha John Rocha of Debenhams for a nice mid-range pair. £28 buys you a fleece-lined pair of luscious mitt-warmers with tough stitching, good water treatment and nice, tri-line detailing on the back of the hand.

Other colours are available, but there are only really two I would consider. One, of course, is white. White kid-leather gloves are a lovely addition to formal evening wear, especially white tie dos, but they are expensive and easily damaged. If you do stain them, get a professional to clean them for you – it is worth the money for the peace of mind alone.

If you are lucky enough to inherit a pair that have gone a bit stiff (its only skin after all) you can revitalise most brands by using a non-greasy, clear moisturiser. Simple wear the gloves and get a rubbing!

In terms of fit, white gloves – as they intended for indoor use and rarely meet the elements – should be unlined and skin-hugging.

The final colour I would consider is…NAVY! I once went on a real navy kick; buying a navy strapped watch with silver bezel, a navy belt with silver buckle, a pair of Kurt Geiger navy slip-on winkle pickers and a pair of navy leather gloves. Worn with a pale grey suit, I created for myself a striking and unusual outfit.

I thought about red, but I’m not quite enough of a pimp. But far be it from me to judge my readers and their potentially pimpish tendencies.


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Merry Christmas!

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On Style: Bowties...

The occasions on which one can wear a bowtie without being churlishly ironic are few.

They have become the staple attire for try-hard pricks of a certain age – the guys that almost know they look a twat, but still secretly think it gives them an air of superiority. It doesn’t – in fact it complements their pseudo political, poorly informed opinionated ramblings with a side-helping of crass misinterpretation (bullshit) of a status symbol too long abused.

Men shouldn’t mess with the bowtie. It is a hallowed item. Wearing it with tailored shorts and geek specs is trendy, but it isn’t big or clever. The bowtie should be reserved for occasions that, as a rule of thumb, take place late.

By this, I mean to include all formal dinners and old age. Old men – those with enough mileage to be considered mandatorily eccentric – can wear extravagant, patterned bowties with chunky knit cardigans. Young men should wear silk bowties with dress shirts and beautiful women in beautiful ball gowns on their arm…

…they should not attempt to look like a pop star caught in a bargain basement explosion. This, my friends, is sartorial suicide. It is our aim to stay one step ahead, or intentional several steps behind the current madness of modernism. This allows us to view the good, the bad and the ugly objectively and forever dress as men out of time…

…born many moons too late, as a good friend once said.


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On Style: Braces...

A tough one to get right without looking like Al Capone.

If that’s what you want, then you might want to buy some slim white braces, a black shirt and a Tommy Gun, but working on the assumption you are not, in fact, insane, avoid all of the above and stick to thick braces (one pair will do).

Good braces are generally made of woollen boxcloth and edged in black or brown leather. Due to the fact that braces should never be seen in formal situations, it is OKAY to only own one pair – black or brown, you decide.

Whatever you do, do NOT wear a belt with braces. It is totally unnecessary and looks ridiculous.

If you have a particular pair of trousers you want to wear with braces you might find they have belt loops. There is nothing particularly wrong with wearing suspenders with trousers intended for a belt (as most these days are) but if you want to do things really well, get a tailor to remove them and ask him/her to fit braces buttons to the trousers if you’d prefer the button to the clip style – button braces do not pinch the fabric like clamps and thus last a little longer.

The benefits of braces a re manifold; most notably comfort and appearance. Where a belt will constrict and bunch the material around the waist, trapping the shirt in the process, braces allow the cloth to hang naturally. Thing natural suspension is also very comfortable – especially after a big meal – and is favoured by larger gentlemen due to the ability to create a false, ‘floating’ waistline as opposed to fastening the trousers beneath the obligatory bulging beer gut of middle age.

In short, they are smarter and, in a lot of ways, more comfortable than belts, but they should NOT be statement piece – especially on the Queen’s side of the pond – nor can they rival a belt in that department. They should, in fact, never be seen, expect, perhaps, by your wife/secretary, unless you are going for a particularly Gekko-esque vibe. Remember! In the era most commonly associated with Braces (1822-1920s) they were considered UNDERWEAR, and so it would be gauche to flaunt them if you attempting to emulate that style. Only when pretending to be Charles or Sebastian can you wear stupid braces with no tie and beige chinos and get away with it...

Good shop for men’s braces:
http://www.albertthurston.com/categoryfast2.cfm?catid=4


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On Style: Casual Jeans with a Smart Twist...

Jeans are an essential component of any man’s wardrobe. Much as I’d like to be able to wear a suit every day, my job does not call for such day-to-day fastidiousness. And so we must turn to denim (which is totally in, right now).

Here’s a tip: spend a lot on your jeans. Cheap denim is false economy. Do not buy Topman for everyday jeans – the pockets wear through in weeks of hard-wearing and the blue denim in particular doesn’t wash as well as some other brands.

I must say, though, the Topman twisted seam coated jeans in black served me well for over a year, so they can’t be knocked.

On the subject of twisted seam, I believe it to be the way forward. Not only are good pairs incredibly comfortable, they offer a striking silhouette and hug your form in the way skinny jeans do, without requiring you to possess the lower body of a child.

The shout-out for brand superiority goes to G Star. But they aren’t cheap, but then, neither are you, so throw caution to the wind and blow £100 on your jeans. A good pair will last you over a year and look the business throughout. Who can say fairer than that, given that you’ll likely wear them 200 days of the year (at 50p an item, fashion is cheap as chips).

Now for the smart twist. I admit that wearing a shirt tucked into your jeans might make you feel a bit middle-aged (apologies to readers who are middle-aged, but you know what I mean), but I urge you to do so. A well built man wearing a well-fitted shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbow, tucked into blue jeans with a brown belt and shoes looks devastatingly handsome. And for all you skinny boys out there, nothing screams geek chic like an immaculate side-parting topping off the same outfit, albeit with the sleeves rolled down and buttoned at the wrist.

To pull off the look convincingly, dress as you would were you wearing a suit, but just add jeans instead of a two or three piece. Bigger guys should drop the tie, but slighter men can keep a skinny neckpiece and wear a deep V-neck, button-front cardigan to keep things cool.

You won’t look like a teacher; you’ll look like a movie star. Think Paul Newman and Robert Redford…

Hell…always think Paul Newman and Robert Redford…it’s a better pastime than X Box…


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NFL Round-up: Week 15...

Who rocked?

Michael Vick and his high-octane Eagles put a massive dent their in division rival’s, the Giants, playoff hopes. A win for the Eagles hands them what was, at the start of the season, considered one of the most competitive divisions in pro-football. The Giants have left themselves with the unenviable task of beating a bloodthirsty Packers team next week and closing out the season with a win if they hope to make the playoffs. One slip and the Packers or Buccaneers will almost surely pounce. As for the Eagles, they have stolen the third seed in the NFC from under the Giants’ noses. Can they go all the way? Well, the wild cards in the NFC figure to be pretty tough. Either they’ll be seeing the Giants for the third time this year or they will be forced to host either the Packers or Buccaneers. The Saints will be fifth seeds and face the Rams of Seahawks. Not that they should worry too much, but the Rams would suit the depleted Saints much better than the ‘Hawks, whose home ground will make things tough for the World Champs.

The Ravens kept the pressure on the Steelers. The Black and Gold hold the division by virtue of head-to-head wins over Baltimore. Both these teams are heading to the postseason, and it is likely they will win out the season and go in as second (Steelers) and fifth (Ravens) seeds. If the Steelers slip up, the Ravens could snatch the division, but it should still result in a rematch in the playoffs. Who will come out on top? This week’s heroes: the Baltimore Ravens.

All season we’ve been waiting for Todd Haley’s Chiefs to capitulate and open the door for the lacklustre Chargers. It hasn’t happened. The Chiefs beat the Rams this week and now look certain to make it over the finish line. How the Chargers can be such a good team and fail to make an impact on the history books, is beyond me and their waning fans. San Diego is up there with Carolina when one bandies around potential relocation teams. If they don’t shape-up and win, or at least make it to a Super Bowl in the next five years, I will be placing an order for a new LA Chargers jersey.


Whose chances were knocked?

When you’re eyeing your first playoff berth for years and your main competitors are the New York Giants (Superbowl champs in ’07) and the playoff-hungry Green Bay Packers, you don’t want to be losing 23-20 to the Detroit Lions. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers did.

Green Bay are making it difficult for themselves. By losing a stinker to the Pats (4 point decision) they now have to beat the Giants next week AND nail Chicago in the season finale if they are to assure a postseason berth. They would have been dead in the water had the Bucs OR the Giants won this week to take a game lead on the Pack. Fortunately for my preseason shout, the Giants fell to the Eagles and the Bucs went down to the Lions. Ouch. Green Bay still fighting.


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On Style: Cravats...

I’m a firm believer in the cravat. Not just in its existence – that is, unlike that of unicorns, a certainty – but in its applicability to modern menswear.

To wear a cravat and not look like a Victorian dandy is difficult, although possible. The alternative is coming across as a pretentious, merlot-sipping, Wittgenstein quoting, Lautrec licking bottom feeder of a student painter. In short, the latter should be avoided and the former embraced.

There is nothing wrong with a bit of dandyism in the first place.

So you’ve decided to wear a cravat – good on you! Now how to pull is off with style?

If you want to go the whole hog, get your hands on a decent (and it must be decent otherwise it’ll look awful and like a fancy dress costume) morning coat (or frock coat) for really formal occasions. Make sure you get your hands on a white shirt with a wing or Gladstone collar – this is especially important if you want to tie the cravat in a knot.

Personally, I’m a big fan of the open collared shirt (either turned-down or Gladstone look awesome with a luscious silk cravat in navy blue or dark brown, draped around the neck, crossing the left point over the right front and sliding the left point behind the right, near the Adam’s apple, and pulling down to form a flat front (like a scarf)) in this instance. If you want a super-formal look, and want to avoid looking like a best man (scrunched cravats are too popular for weddings these days) try and pick-up an Ascot from eBay, a vintage store or a gentlemen’s tailors. An Ascot tie in, say, pale grey, is a great addition to any wardrobe. It can easily be pinned to the shirt with either a gold or silver tack and, due to its cut, lies very flat against the chest, providing a royal band of colour that draws the focus.

Team the cravat with a waistcoat. I love the dishevelled dandy look – a uniform of my own invention:

• 1 white Gladstone collared shirt, open three buttons at the neck with the sleeves rolled up.
• A Brown silk cravat in the recess, covering all skin below the Adam’s apple.
• A brown waistcoat with beige pinstripe and matching trousers.
• Gold watch with brown leather strap (check out the Argos discount store on eBay to pick-up a cheap Gold plated Rotary Moonphase, which looks the business with all these 19th century style outfits.
• Brown, square toed slip-ons, either highly polished OR caked in mud (never neglected – either pristine or preposterous)
• Brown belt with gold buckle.
• Tussle hair.
• Roguish smile.

Enjoy!


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On Style: Hats...

I have a collection of hats that baffles all who see it.
“But I’ve never seen you wear a hat,” my girlfriend of six months said when I felt the time had come to show her my hoard of headgear.
“Ah, yes!” I said, raising my index finger, “But I might need one someday.”
“Fair enough,” she said, looking unconvinced, “but do you really need three Trilbies?”
Of course I do. And more to the point, they’re not Trilbies; they’re Homburgs. I tell you, there’s one hat I don’t own – a bowler. Very nearly on so many occasions I have made it to the till with one in hand, but I would only have worn it as a novelty and a deliberate showpiece. Not even I could take myself totally seriously in a bowler…
But one day I will give it a whirl – if I ever head back to the banking trade, that is.
Hats do many things: they complete your look; they add an extra dimension to your cranial proportions; they can display your sporting allegiance; serve a function; keep you warm; shield your face from the wind; remind you of a fond memory; or, my old dad used to say, cover your ugly mug.
The master of backhanded complements, my father would often remind anyone who cared to listen that all hats suited me…because they hid my Quasimodo-esque phizog.
Thanks dad.
Familial fractiousness aside, hats can hide your face if you are particularly ugly or self-conscious, but this is not a mindset we choose to employ here, on this blog. Everyone has something good about them. Even if you’re a fucking troll, there are a lot of decent looking women out there who collect trolls. What’s most important is that you get out there and make sure she (miss right) knows she’s missing a troll of your proportions and that her collection, and by proxy her vagina, would benefit from your addition.
And so we get to the crunch – hats can only be worn well by people with enough confidence to fill their hat at least once, preferably three times over.
This is a good gauge of whether you’re brave enough to go stratospheric with your headpiece. Imagine your self-confidence in liquid form (gloop or jelly will do). Now pour it into a baseball cap. Does it overflow or does it sit below the peak? If it overflows, maybe you can go for a trucker cap (imagine the mesh holds the gloop of self assurance). If you’re splashing around, knee deep in gloop that’s making your ankles peacock, try a homburg, a trilby, a bowler, a topper…
The possibilities are almost endless. Pulling off a hat require gusto and humongous balls. When you start out wearing your hat outside, wear it between locals and remove it before you arrive so you are carrying the hat, but do not feel like a prick. When you get used to having on your person, people will want to see it on your head. Oblige and ease it in until you feel comfortable.
Then the fun can really begin*.

* As long as you have coordinated your hat with shoes/gloves/watch strap/belt. Otherwise go back to the start and try again. Love x.


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On Style: Scarves...

I probably have too many scarves. I certainly have too many to list here, but let me tell you, not one of those purchases do I regret!

Having something around your neck is often necessary to complete a look. Even something as simple as a T-shirt benefits from a roughly hewn piece of material draped casually around the shoulders. It adds texture, depth and shading; it frames your face, draws the focus where you want it to be drawn; makes the most of the dull canvas you’ve erected to highlight you sparkling beauty…

…aaaaaaaand it keeps you warm.

Being of a Spivvish nature, and wont to the odd midnight excursion in the wilderness of an unnamed, undressed female’s bedroom, I have oftentimes found myself at the foot of a drainpipe in my long johns, shivering in the bitter frost of 2am and in the absence of my seed.

Here, a scarf would help; a scarf always helps.

Forgive me for using the word NEED (you don’t need any of this, and the whole idea is perfectly trivial, but since you’re here and still reading these tips, allow me to assume the role of your instructor (feel free to ignore me)) – you NEED to have several different types of scarf if you want to project the right image.

Snoods – those big ‘tubes’ or ‘hoops’ of material that you wrap around your neck in a figure of eight, are very fashionable right now and look brilliant with tees and gritty knitwear of the All Saints ilk or Gap chunky cardigans. What they do not look cool with are suits and formalwear. They disrupt the line too much and should be avoided in professional or dashing situations.

In these situations you NEED either fine wool, preferably cashmere, but excusably acrylic. You NEED a black and brown scarf at the very least, but would benefit from the ownership of light/dark grey and camel scarves. They should be tied either in the same way as casual cravats (basically an over-under with one leg hanging over the other), or the fold over, where you fold the scarf in two (lengthways), put it around your neck and tuck the ends through the loop of the middle before pulling tight. The problem with the latter is that it requires a longer scarf – fine for fine wool, but often too much of an ask for formal cashmere or acrylic scarves.

You also NEED (and this is the last thing, I promise) at least one, ludicrously chunky autumn scarf for those romantic red, brown and yellow walks in the countryside. Get this one handmade by an Aunt/sympathetic mother in law. You can’t beat rustic in the great outdoors.

And buy a Barbour jacket, will you? It’s about bloody time…


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On Style: Summer Pumps...

A must – You need at least one pair in white, which you can buy from Primark for a piffling £3. These look awesome with jeans and tailored shorts (not at the same time).If you are wealthier than Rich Uncle Penny Bags on Maturity day, get some slick, low-rise Fred Perry’s for smart occasions, but seriously, the Primark jobbies will work wonders and are so cheap you can just chuck them when they get dirty instead of trying to get them glisteningly box fresh.

Also garnering a lot of attention this season, are esplanades. If you haven’t heard of them before, they are basically outdoor boating slippers. They a slip-on sheaths of summer chic and available from most big brands and small alike, for pennies to serious pounds.

Due to their cheap component materials – generally canvas/straw etc. – even Kurt Geiger examples are affordable, coming in at a trifling £30! It is not uncommon to see them with bold, nautical strips over the toe – navy or red the most common – and they could turn an un-ambitious pairing of tee shirt and shorts into the hottest look this season. Why not give them a go?


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On Style: Tailored Shorts...

FAQ: Are tailored shorts cool or do they make me look like a foppish penis?

A: Most of the time, yeah, they do.

But not always.

Some guys will never be able to war tailored shorts and look good. Fat guys should steer clear, and so should incredibly well-built guys, who are top heavy and possess bulging quadriceps.

In short, only attempt this look if you are slim from top to bottom. They are one of the few items that look better on men with little physical presence as, in my opinion, a stacked gent in a cutaway collar, Windsor knotted tie and double breasted suit is about as masculine as you can get.

If you are slight, you will be find it easier to dress effetely in summer. Muscular or simple stocky men look good in flowing linen pants or generous cream chinos and a fitted white shirt, but shorts? Only if you’re training, boys…

For those of you, who proudly regard yourself an androgynous tiddler, team tailored shorts, cut to about an inch above the knee, with a slim-fit pastel shirt (pink or buck-egg blue look good) and a tall, side swept quiff. A cheap £3 pair of white, Primark pumps with low rise, white trainer socks keeps the focus on the shorts and image crisp. Lay back and enjoy the Pimms, boys – summer’s on the way!


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On Style: The Problem with Vintage...

The problem with vintage…boy, this title got me a lot of stick from my girlfriend, and I appreciate that for all charity-shop trailers, it may seem a tad negative.

But please, grant me the same grace she did and allow me to explain.

Vintage is awesome (gamesaver – Ed), but the real problem with it is coordination. This problem isn’t just stylistic, in fact, that is the least of your concerns. No, the real issue hear is colour, or, more specifically, pattern.

Much vintage wear is so striking because of the more outlandish patterns used ‘back in the day’. Shirts are the number one offender and should be avoided at all costs. Jackets, provided the pattern is subtle, can be teamed with plainer items for an interesting look. But the area in which vintage really excels is also the most versatile: accessories.

Ties, cravats, broaches, watches, belts, hats and gloves are all easily coordinated with modern items, and often a useful and exciting twist to an otherwise dowdy outfit.

My rule for vintage is simple: one, statement item at a time, and keep it on the small side.

That should elicit interest and admiration, rather than curiosity and pity.


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NFL Round-up: Week 14...

Who rocked?

Their hope of salvaging their season – and Singletary’s job – is slim, but putting up 40 pts against division rivals is the right thing to do. Well done to this classic franchise for continuing to fight even though your aspirations have gone up in smoke. Maybe next year…

These guys are too good. I actually fear the Patriots more this year than in their undefeated season, because of the quietness about it all. Losing one early shifted the spotlight away from this ludicrously talented team, but they have continued to win and win. They are heading for the top seed by a couple of clear games, I figure. Watch out come February. This will be number 4 for the Brady Bunch.

The Steelers want the AFC North, and if they carry on like this, the most successful franchise in history could find itself in the playoffs and with a week’s holiday to boot. Can Big Ben and Hines Ward make is 3 from the last 6, matching New England’s dynastic qualities? They’ll likely have to go through Foxboro, but if they make it out the other side, don’t bet against them!

It took a shocking Broncos side to let the Cardinals air it out, but this was more like what we had become uncomfortably used to from the desert birds. A 43 point rack-up for Super-Ken and his Supermen will be a nice feeling, but not the same as the Tiffany’s created, platinum masterpiece to which better teams will be aspiring.

The Jaguars are keeping the pressure on the Colts. Winning (in style) this week means David Garrard and his men can tie up the AFC South next week with a win over Payton Manning and the ever-dangerous Colts.


Whose chances were knocked?

Losing to the Lions is bad. Losing by 4 points is tough. Failing to score on offense, or defence and instead, getting all your points from special teams, is utterly disgusting. Especially if you’re the Superbowl hopefuls, the Green Bay Packers. A 7-3 beat down at the hands of the Lions means the road to the playoffs is a long and winding one with no more losses acceptable. It’s in the Packers’ hands (miraculously) but they better not slip up again.

The woeful Seahawks let the 49ers beat up on them and allowing the Rams to hold pace with them after they too lost to the Saints. It is an increasing possibility that a losing record could win a division for the first time ever. The Rams could end-up 8-8 if they win out and that would give them the division by virtue of the fact the last game’s against Seattle who would fall to 6-10. But if Seattle win out, beating the Rams in the process, both will finish 7-9 and the tiebreakers will give the Seahawks the NFC West title... And the fourth seed… Boom. Madness.

Dallas lost a bum-squeaker to the feisty Eagles. A 3-point losing margin is more than respectable for this beleaguered team and, in terms of the draft, no tragedy. This week did, however, confirm Dallas’s first losing season since!!! and certain elimination from the playoffs. The dream of a homefield Superbowl will have to wait another year at least…and maybe the young Dolphins might beat them to it…


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On Style: Mixing and Matching...

A couple of years ago, I noticed the emergence of a trend that has always sat rather uneasily with me, but, in the name of progress, I have persevered with my experimentations in this field in order to find an interpretation of the rule I like.

I have suits – many suits. Sometimes I want an outfit that is as well-fitting as a suit, but less formal. Jeans don’t do the trick, because they instantly make the outfit too casual and too edgy for this particular look.

So what do you do? You mix and match, that’s what!

The hardest and fastest rule here regards the fabric: if the jacket and the pants both sport a distinctive weave, don’t wear them together. If one is patterned and the other plain that should be okay, though. In terms of colour, I much prefer black trousers with either a navy or (and you might be surprised/have the urge to vomit) a brown jacket. Mixing black and brown has been a no-no since the dawn of fastidiousness, but most notably in the case of brown shoes with a black suit. I actually think that due to the rising trend in ‘industrial’ fashion (think All Saints), black and brown can work well if worn in even quantities (especially if the style of the mixed clothes is ‘worn’).

A rag-like scarf, brown All Saints Merino wool jumper, black tapered jeans, brown military boots and a brown, tough weave jacket looks awesome, so why not with suits?

Mixing colours is a dangerous, but potentially rewarding pastime. You could end up with a striking combination, or looking like your grandmother’s living room.

For interviews and formal situations, stay smart and stick with the full suit. In your free time go nuts and experiment. That’s all I can say…


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On Style: Lighters and Cigarette Cases...

You need only answer one question to ascertain the relevance of this post to your accessory cabinet: do you smoke?

Not: are you a smoker? That’s not the same thing. I’m not asking if you send your mates off on their hols with instructions to bring you 10,000 cut-price Super King Black back in their suitcase, or whether you wake up in the middle of the night with nicotine cravings so bad, you suit-up and head down to Esso for a midnight puff.

I mean would you smoke? If the answer is yes, you must equip yourself with at least one decent lighter (Zippos are the classic choice) and perhaps a cigarette case that matches.

Really serious puffers might want 2, or even three sets: gold, silver and bronze, but if you were to choose a neutral or statement lighter you don’t need to go so overboard.

Zippo do bright and pastel colour lighters that are cool, but look a bit childlike when you whip them out of a Jeff Banks three-piece and spark-up.

I like classic lighters – I even own a Polo cigarette case with a built-in petrol lighter, which is cool but weighs a bloody tonne.

Spend £20-30 on a good Zippo and, if the opportunity presents itself, direct friends and relatives to colour alternatives for Christmas or Birthday gifts (for a man who takes his wardrobe so seriously, having gifts bought for you that a superfluous to requirements is an irksome and potentially embarrassing endurance. For that reason, items that would compliment, but are unessential to your sartorial swag, make perfect gifts. You don’t need another Zippo, but it would sure be nice to have one. You don’t need novelty socks, and their receipt is one annoying trip to the dump that you definitely don’t want to make).

It does look cool to have a Zippo that matches your watch case, belt buckle, tie slide, cufflinks, cigarette case and business card holder, but don’t go worrying over it too much.

Just the right amount…that should do fine…


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On Style: Socks...

Socks must be the same colour as your trousers. TROUSERS! Not shoes! The only exception to this rule is with jeans. In this case, go with black dress socks. You can’t really go wrong there.

When wearing short trousers, make sure you stick with trainer socks (the low-ankle shoe liners that do everything a sock should without making you look like a 1980s basketball player).

On the subject of retro sportsmen, when you are training, for a touch of contemporary style try some of American Apparel’s essentials socks. They are white with two solid bands of collar around the shin. Topman usually do a decent five pack that come in a lot cheaper than the AA version, so keep your eyes peeled for them should they resurface.

In terms of smart dress, I would recommend Pringle for Public School-style stripes or brash, John Daly argyle print, but be warned – expensive as they are, they don’t wash amazingly. For bright socks with longevity, I am a fan of OneTrueSaxon, but Duffer by St George offer some of the most hard-wearing pure black socks, and come with either plain white stitched STG logos or the same but in five different colours to make foraging around in your draw for the perfect match a time-consuming, but ultimately rewarding process. Alternatively, you could just take your time to wash your socks in pairs and fold them together…much easier.

One last thing: as soon as a hole or thin patch even STARTS to appear, bin the sock – bin the pair if they are unique. Don’t try and squeeze an extra few wears out of them. Let them go – there’s little more sartorially shameful than removing your shoes to reveal your mannish big toe, with the ever-spreading crop of middle-age phalange hair poking through an unseen hole. Don’t risk it. Be brutal.


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On Style: Underwear...

Seriously, boys, do NOT skimp on your underwear. Promise me something: never, ever, ever be tempted to buy a multi-pack of Primark boxer shorts again. Cheapness is not an excuse – shit underwear is false economy, and no one’s going to be impressed when you drop your Gucci strides to the floor to present your potential lover with some faded, unfitting, rags.

Looking good should permeate to the very basest levels. And since, as I’ve often advocated, those who dabble in fashion look best when wearing a cape of confidence, your underwear, and how it makes your old chap feel, can be the most prime source of said bravado.

Firstly, do away with anything that doesn’t hold your tackle in place: literally, throw it in the bin. Your penis will not only feel better when cradled lovingly by some cotton-elastic hybrid, but it will be visible instead of hidden away in a packaging that could have been made from old curtains.

Also, be not afraid of briefs. If you are well built (or even if you’re not) well-fitted briefs look and feel great – especially during sporting activities – provide you with the necessary support to keep your dangle safe and actually look good. Trust me. Brazil can’t be wrong.

Boxer trunks are the way forward for everyday comfort and style. They are also the prime choice for men on ‘the pull’. Briefs could embarrass you in front of a new partner if they’re not her thing. Play it safe with boxers trunks (and sex).

A few good brands to check out:

For tight-fitting trunks, go for Bjorn Borg (though make sure to wash the ones with a higher spandex content carefully to keep their bright colours looking vibrant for longer) and Calvin Klein wide waistband trunks (especially the world cup special editions in the colours of several countries flags.

For incomparably comfortable briefs go for DKNY, but a word of warning: briefs tend to run really small (this is especially true of Calvin Klein, which are a tighter brand than most in the boxer department too) so maybe buy one pair a size larger than you would normally go for. Take these home and try them on before buying anymore, because remember: underwear is un-returnable, and relatively pricey (if you’re buying the right stuff).

The best place on the Ethernet to find yourself a bargain is Asos.com and in the real world, go to TK Maxx for DKNY and Borg (if you’re lucky) and an outlet store for brand new CK.


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On Style: Matching Pocket Squares, Shirts and Ties...

Simply, you should match your pocket square with your shirt (especially in the case of white, when at the office) or with your tie for a funkier look.

The former works best with white shirts and the Iconic Square fold as demonstrated recently. More exciting fold patterns (like the Winged Puff or Puff) look a bit flat with white, although the Winged Puff is a nice addition to a dinner suit when colour is not encouraged.

When matching your pocket square to your tie, you should attempt to pick-out the colour(s) of your neckwear, and not match the two perfectly. Ties and hankies cut from the same cloth can look a bit tacky, so be bold and mix it up.

With shirts for suits, I am an advocate of plain white. Focus on cut over colour with what will be your canvas, and focus solely on the interaction of your tie and square.

It is often a good idea to pick-out the secondary colour of a tie if you are wearing a multicoloured piece.

For example, I have a navy and yellow tie, which is predominantly navy with thin yellow stripes on it. The handkerchief I choose to match with this tie is dark yellow silk with Navy \dots all over it (I know, spots and stripes – how radical). This method adds colour and flare to an otherwise staid suit. Like I said, for office wear don’t be tempted to go crazy or you will look overtly effete and probably won’t be taken seriously.

Save the colours for the carnival; leave austerity in the office.


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On Style: The Puff...

Playful and effete, the Puff fold looks simple, but is tough to master. Like organised chaos it can complete or clutter your look. Practice makes perfect, my friends:

http://www.samhober.com/howtofoldpocketsquares/Puffpocketsquarefold.htm


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NFL Round-up: Week 13...

Who rocked?
Sam Bradford is surely a lock for rookie of the year. The Rams can definitely win this division if they keep pace with the Seahawks until the end of the season and avoid a 49 fight back. Beating Arizona all but buries the Cards, barring a miraculous collapse by the rest of these shockingly bad NFC West units. Division champs with 8-8 or below? I think .500 will be enough for the title!

The Falcons continued their romp towards top seed in the AFC by beating the refreshingly surprising Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Raheem Morris has done wonders with young QB Josh Freeman (who I had the pleasure of watching in the NFL London game 2009). The Bucs were not expected to fetch a winning record this year – let alone make the playoffs. It’s still a possibility for this young, promising team, but this will not be their year. This is Matt Ryan’s chance to take the Lombardi Trophy back to Georgia for the first time ever and I don’t think he’s going to give up on it easily.


Whose chances were knocked?
The Colts are locked in a tough scrap with Jacksonville for the AFC South. AT this rate, the Jaguars might be able to sew-up the division in a fortnight when the two teams meet. A win for the Jags over the Colts, gives them a postseason berth at the likely expense of Indianapolis who have featured in the postseason the last nine years straight. Is this the year that Payton and his Blue Meanies slip-up in the regular season? Losing to maligned Dallas does NOT look like a sign this team can last the distance.

After beating New England early in the season by a solid 14 points, the New York Jets moved into the driving seat for the AFC East. Week 13, however, was unlucky as hell for them. The Patriots came out firing – looking very much like the Brady Bunch of ’07 that went 18-0 before slipping to the Giants in the Superbowl.

The Jets looked incapable of threatening New England down the stretch after a 45-3 humiliating this week. If things play out as expected, New England will clinch first or second seed, while the Jets look likely to slide to fifth or sixth. This means that there may yet be a rematch of these two division rivals. I’ll be betting on Brady to atone for ’07 any day. 5 Rings before retirement? I think that has to be the goal…



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On Style: The Formal Point...

The single point is a classic, timeless look, quite at home in the office or gentleman’s club:

http://www.samhober.com/howtofoldpocketsquares/Onepointpocketsquarefold.htm

If you want something a little more extravagant, try a double or triple point, as seen below:

http://www.samhober.com/howtofoldpocketsquares/Twopointpocketsquarefold.htm

http://www.samhober.com/howtofoldpocketsquares/Threepointpocketsquarefold.htm


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On Style: The Winged Puff...

My favourite fold; the formation I sport at almost all occasions. It is simple to do and easy to rectify should it slip throughout the night (though stiffening the handkerchief with a business card keeps it in place just fine).

http://www.samhober.com/howtofoldpocketsquares/Wingedpuff.htm


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On Style: The Iconic Square...

Perfect for that 1960s office look. Sleek and chic, the single band of colour can pull your whole outfit together, linking your jacket with your shirt. Stick to white for a stark contrast and learn how to fold by following the link below:

http://www.samhober.com/howtofoldpocketsquares/flatpocketsquarefold.htm


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On Style: Pocket Squares...

The scope of the humble pocket square should not be underestimated. An oft forgotten addition that can haul a tired suit into the limelight, the pocket square has a versatility that should not be ignored. Whether you are slaving away in the office or puffing on a cigar in the Gee Gees as Cecil tops up your glass, the pocket square, in much the same way a tie or ones watch, can say a great deal about you and, in a way the other adornments can’t, your mood.

There are few items of clothing that are so easy to modify depending on situation. Ties, short of carrying a replacement, are unchangeable in every way save the knot, and that, in all honesty, should be decided for you by the shirt collar you have chosen to wear; cufflinks and watches are personal, but benign items; belts and shoes should match, but that is as far as they go. Short of scuff marks on your new brogues being an active delineation of your fury, modifications to shoes are, if not impossible, unadvisable.

The pocket square. That small, angular slice of silk. How it is your friend! When folded in the muted office style it pulls together your outfit for the perfect masculine appearance; when puffed and bulging from your breast pocket it cries out playfulness; when folded back on itself in the winged puff variation it speaks volumes of sartorial savvy.

How will you fold yours? Over the next week I’ll showcase some of the more popular folds with links to a rather nifty website showing you how it’s done. Please explore the linked site as there are more options than I will discuss, and it is, after all, a very personal and situational thing.

I’ll also publish this series of posts sometime in the New Year to remind y’all of these essential tips that provide a cost effective and lush way to spice-up your wardrobe.


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On Style: Pocket Watches...

It would be fair to ask whether one really needs a pocket watch these days. Rather surprisingly, I would say that you don’t. Believe it or not I do not own one functioning pocket watch (but am in the process of repairing one I got cheap on the internet).

The reason why I don’t find pocket watches a necessary addition is simply because to wear one with a wristwatch is bloody ridiculous, and thus removes the greatest tool on your person for expressing yourself. As a pocket watch is, quite obviously, kept in your pocket, it is an even more functional item than the wristwatch and really only demands wearing when you are going for full-on Victoriana.

And for that reason I’m restoring one as we speak, but only because I’m a devilishly self-indulgent fashionista. So sue me.

They are a bit of an extravagance, but lovely things to own and to wear occasionally, especially with French cuff shirts that may not allow for your normal watch due to their wrist-hugging tendencies.

Wear them exclusively with waistcoats, which can be worn without the jacket for a bit of edgy Victorian cool.


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On Style: Waistcoats...

The waistcoat, as part of a three-piece suit, is making a comeback. Essential if you want to wear a pocket watch, the waistcoat can easily be worn with a shirt and without a jacket, with the shirt sleeves rolled up and a silk cravat in the open neck of the shirt for a dandyish, and more casual look.

Gotta love a bit of Sherlock Holmes style...


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