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Friday, 1 October 2010

On Style: Facial Hair...

The hair a man wears on his face is, in some ways, more important to that on his head. While a hairstyle can add a dimension to your overall appearance and be worn like an accessory, facial hair can actually change the way you look.

There are a few things to get through here, but let’s start off with a simple one: if it doesn’t grow, let it go.

There is nothing worse than wispy, uneven facial hair. It makes you look either lazy or prepubescent, neither of which preferable, if you were wondering. If it isn’t thick or at least workable, get rid of it. Now.

So how can facial hair change your face? Well, by choosing what to cover-up and what to leave on show can have the same effect as shading a pencil drawing.

If you have a round or square head, go for sideburns to start with – they will lengthen your face by limiting the amount of flesh on show.

Normally I’m not a fan of ‘tracker beards’, as I like to call them – the thin line of dark stubble that some men let run from sideburn to sideburn, carving a perfectly thin line across the jaw and chin along the way. However, they are great if you have a square jaw. They look aggressive and slick, but you will also look a bit like a try-hard phone salesman, so unless you are rocking the out and out wide-boy look, steer clear.

I have an oval shaped face and wear all-over three-day stubble that I keep short with clippers. Regrettably I have a few scars on my chin where the hair grows slower, but if you have time, patience and a good set of clippers, you can overcome the same problem with careful grooming.

I have, in the past, sported the following: a full beard; a goatee; a moustache; and a soul patch. The soul patch, despite being painfully out-of-date (it’s ok, I had it 6 years ago when it was ‘cool’ and ‘far-out’) was surprisingly good for my face. It elongated my features and, when worn with sideburns, took a couple of pounds off my appearance. My cheeks looked higher and my skin (which is always roughest around the chin) clearer. This ‘sectioning’ of colour helps a man’s face stand-out. Stark, defining lines are important with facial hair – even when going for the full-on Captain Haddock.

If you do want to grow a bead Brian Blessed would be proud of, go to the best local barbers you can find where they still use straight edge razors. Get him to give you a close shave and then let your beard grow for a month without touching it. At all. I mean it. Leave it as it is.

Go back to ‘one-cut Tony’s’ and get him to shave you a neck line in and neaten up the straggly bits. Then leave it for another 3-4 weeks before you start shaping it.

If you, like me, are a squat-faced monkey lookalike, keep your beard slightly shorter on the cheeks than the chin to stretch your face. Also try squaring-off the bottom of your chin-beard for that blustery imperialist look I do so favour.

Conversely if you have a long face, keep the beard a more even length, or even try a moustache. By leaving your chin bare you will not be adding extra length to your already horsey features, but a bit of top-lip topiary never hurt anyone and could break-up the vast expanse of face you insist on throwing about.

I wouldn’t recommend the goatee right now. The memory of David Brent still stings me to the core. And anyway, the goatee is like short hair on women: if it looks good on you, you would look even better with a beard or long hair.

Please, girls, make sure you don’t get that the wrong way round.


Pick up THE HARE newspaper at Night and Day, Bar Centro, Font or Tiger Lounge in Manchester town centre, or the Oakwood in Glossop.

E-mail theharenewspaper@hotmail.co.uk with questions, comments or contributory pieces.

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