Seriously, boys, do NOT skimp on your underwear. Promise me something: never, ever, ever be tempted to buy a multi-pack of Primark boxer shorts again. Cheapness is not an excuse – shit underwear is false economy, and no one’s going to be impressed when you drop your Gucci strides to the floor to present your potential lover with some faded, unfitting, rags.
Looking good should permeate to the very basest levels. And since, as I’ve often advocated, those who dabble in fashion look best when wearing a cape of confidence, your underwear, and how it makes your old chap feel, can be the most prime source of said bravado.
Firstly, do away with anything that doesn’t hold your tackle in place: literally, throw it in the bin. Your penis will not only feel better when cradled lovingly by some cotton-elastic hybrid, but it will be visible instead of hidden away in a packaging that could have been made from old curtains.
Also, be not afraid of briefs. If you are well built (or even if you’re not) well-fitted briefs look and feel great – especially during sporting activities – provide you with the necessary support to keep your dangle safe and actually look good. Trust me. Brazil can’t be wrong.
Boxer trunks are the way forward for everyday comfort and style. They are also the prime choice for men on ‘the pull’. Briefs could embarrass you in front of a new partner if they’re not her thing. Play it safe with boxers trunks (and sex).
A few good brands to check out:
For tight-fitting trunks, go for Bjorn Borg (though make sure to wash the ones with a higher spandex content carefully to keep their bright colours looking vibrant for longer) and Calvin Klein wide waistband trunks (especially the world cup special editions in the colours of several countries flags.
For incomparably comfortable briefs go for DKNY, but a word of warning: briefs tend to run really small (this is especially true of Calvin Klein, which are a tighter brand than most in the boxer department too) so maybe buy one pair a size larger than you would normally go for. Take these home and try them on before buying anymore, because remember: underwear is un-returnable, and relatively pricey (if you’re buying the right stuff).
The best place on the Ethernet to find yourself a bargain is Asos.com and in the real world, go to TK Maxx for DKNY and Borg (if you’re lucky) and an outlet store for brand new CK.
Pick up THE HARE newspaper at Night and Day, Bar Centro, Font or Tiger Lounge in Manchester town centre, or the Oakwood in Glossop.
E-mail theharenewspaper@hotmail.co.uk with questions, comments or contributory pieces.
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