
Disputes are common, be they domestic, social or international. Often the source of conflict is a mutual desire for the same thing, and often the time and energy warring over the wanted leaves both parties unsatisfied and a bad taste in all salivating mouths. The fable of the Ass and the Shadow comes to mind when considering the best way to deal with these situations. So let us delve once more into the archives of Aesop and see what lessons the storied sage can offer us this time…
One day Mr HARE, with whom we are well acquainted, decided to surprise his spouse of seven years, CURLY HARE, with a romantic trip to Buxton. His plan was to ride to the luscious green haven astride an ass, especially procured for such an occasion. He headed into town to find a stable, found just what he was looking for.
“Good afternoon,” said Mr HARE to the stable hand. “I wonder if I might hire this here ass for a weekend’s trekking cross the moors?”
Mr HARE paid the man and was about to set off back to the form when a shout from behind caused him to stop in his tracks.
“I say, there is one thing you should know,” called the stable hand. “It’s slated to be mighty warm this weekend – make sure you’re covered up if you plan on riding a long way!”
Mr HARE assured the concerned young man that he and his spouse were more than used to the harshness of the sun and continued on his way.
The day of his anniversary arrived and CURLY HARE was overjoyed to find her partner had planned such a romantic trip.
“O, Mr HARE,” she gushed, “you are still as starry-eyed as the day we met. Let us away!”
And away they did, sharing the back of the ass, wrapped in a lovers’ embrace.
But as the day wore on the sun rose in the sky and seemed to grow above them until it was pressing down on their backs with unbearable force.
“Good grief,” gasped Mr HARE. “The stable hand was not exaggerating. This is awful!”
So awful it was, that not ten minutes after Mr HARE had vocalised his discomfit, the ass upon whose back the sat keeled over, exhausted. The caring couple dismounted and fetched their ass some water from a nearby stream. The stream had been easy to locate in the exposed landscape given that there were no trees to muffle its distant babbling or provide a shade from the fearsome sun.
It wasn’t long before the two hares noticed that the collapsed form of their ass was casting a shadow just large enough to provide one of them shelter.
Without asking, CURLY sat down in the shade, drawing her lover’s ire.
“I too am hot beyond compare!” cried Mr HARE. “I have been lovely to you and you take my ass’s shade without asking!”
“Your ass? I thought this day was a present for me?”
What followed was a scuffle that, in the human kingdom would’ve amounted to an assault charge. But while they fought over the shade the ass recovered and, bored by their dispute, got up and trotted home. They realised they were stranded too late.
“What asses we’ve made of ourselves,” said a shameful Mr HARE. “If only we’d talked out our problem and shared what we both desired, we would not be stuck here in this awful heat. I see now that communication is the key to peace.”
Pick up THE HARE newspaper at Night and Day, Bar Centro, Font or Tiger Lounge in Manchester town centre, or the Oakwood in Glossop.
E-mail theharenewspaper@hotmail.co.uk with questions, comments or contributory pieces.
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