England March on Into the Mighty German Maw...

There is no moral to this story – just a vague and grating sense of pessimism. England have, on paper, a superb starting XI. I’ve often wondered how much money it would take to assemble a team of such highly-regarded players at club level. Rooney would command somewhere in the region of 60 million; Gerrard 40; Lampard probably not much less. And with John Terry you don’t just get a world class centre back, but also a reason for other players to leaves their WAGs at home and leave the team free to focus on what we do worst – winning with conviction.
Our storied rivals, the ever-potent Germans, opened the tournament with a somewhat unexpected bang by beating the tough and usually-well-drilled Socceroos of Australia. I must admit that the Germans, though discounted by the foolhardy alone, were a bit underrated coming into the tournament: heralded as something of a wilderness generation, they actually seem to have a crop of young superstars with enough experience to balance the side and make a deep run (maybe even a fourth title) a serious possibility.
And lo! What’s this? England (‘stupid’ England, in the words of German legend Franz Beckenbauer) managed to finish second in their group, courtesy of a 91st minute strike from Landon Donovan of the USA and their own inability to pop one more past the impressive Slovenian goalie. Should we – those of us who boarded the England rollercoaster – feel aggrieved? Not really: we had chance after chance to bury our group rivals and only have our jittery nerves to blame. And so we find ourselves staring down the barrel of a well-and-domestically-made German gun.
Worse still, victory against the Germans – a result I’m sure we’ll eke out of somewhere – leaves us to face either Argentina or Mexico. Hurrah! And following that titanic clash we could be facing Spain of all teams (that’s right, Spain: number one team in the world).
But you know what? Doomed as our march to the trophy may be, I can’t help but feel relieved.
Those of you who sat/cried through the Algeria debacle (a listless 0-0 of McLarenesque proportions) know the agony of watching one of the best English sides in living memory struggle against African minnows. And had we beaten Algeria we would have set-up a last 16 clash with Ghana, followed by either Uruguay or South Korea – a dead cert spot in the Semis. On. Paper.
The thing is, the World Cup isn’t played on paper – if it were England would make it to the quarters by virtue of their 8th place world ranking. But instead, due to the small matter of football needing to be played, our ‘easy’ route to the Semis could have ended embarrassingly abruptly at the hands of a lesser team.
So let’s not lament England’s ‘stupidity’; let’s instead rejoice in the majesty of high-quality opposition. If you want to be the best, you have to beat the best, and I for one would much rather lose-out on a place in the quarters to a spirited Germany than suffer the ignominy of losing to South Korea in the Semis. If we win it all it will truly be a feat to remember. I simply cannot wait to see...


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