On Style: Watches...

Here’s a topic that could run for years and years and years. Given my daytime occupation as an apprentice watchmaker, I am obviously somewhat obsessed with this subject.

So I’ll be as brief as I can.

Watches are the most significant part of your attire. They will feature more than any other item you wear, even if you have two, three or more you rotate. People will come to regard your watches as a part of and will always hold an opinion – whether candid or not – on your wrist-wear. A man’s watch says more about him than the rest of his garb. That can be a good, o equally bad thing.

Rule number one: A watch is a status symbol. Therefore do not attempt to buy and carry off a watch significantly above your station. If you work in a petrol station and earn, let’s say, about a grand a month after tax, do NOT save up and buy a £6000 Rolex. It is ridiculous. Wearing that watch may be cool, but it is too much for you. The service charges would eat into your wage, and woe betide you if it actually BROKE! As they is a rule on how much a man should spend on his girlfriend’s engagement ring, so too should you impose a limit to your watch-buying pursuits. I think that spending one months salary on a watch is about as much as you can justify, and, to be honest, I would advise all of you not earning six figure salaries, to stick to half that.

So Mr Esso, you can buy a £500 watch, and that will do for you (for now, until your unpublished manuscript catches the attention of Harper Collins…).

Rule number two: Choice is more important that cost. Who buys a gold Rolex? One of three types of people: folk with too much money and not enough sense (pricks); Rolex nuts (misguided pricks); Pikeys (Pikeys). It’s a crass, in-your-face statement of how much money you have, and makes you look a wee bit like you don’t know what you’re doing.

Class is not always reflected in monetary value – in fact, it is often restraint and personal selection that wins the admiration of ones peers, not balls-out mendaciousness.

Choice something that is versatile, timeless and you – follow those three pointers and you will get years of wear and pleasant comments out of your purchase.

If you happen to know a watchmaker, ask their advice when buying vintage: I picked-up an unmarked 1920s gold Rolex on eBay for £18 inc. p&p. that was missing the glass – an easy repair job, adding immense value and, more importantly, wearability to the piece. Over time, your collection will grow if you are a fan of fine timepieces. Your first steps on the horological ladder should be concerned with case metals. Get yourself a gold watch, a silver watch, one of each with a black strap and one of each with a brown. Then graduate to rose gold (if you dare attempting to coordinate it with the rest of your outfit – rewarding but challenging). A good, early-doors suggestion would be the Swatch full-blooded gold and/or silver as the straps, as with all swatches are easily interchangeable with little risk of damage.

Personally I think you should hunt for something weird and wonderful that speaks volumes about your personal style. Put a bit of money aside and spend time thinking about what you want and comparing the prices of the vintage items you find.

The bargains and gems are out there; you’ve just got to be patient.


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On Style: Mixing and Matching...

A couple of years ago, I noticed the emergence of a trend that has always sat rather uneasily with me, but, in the name of progress, I have persevered with my experimentations in this field in order to find an interpretation of the rule I like.

I have suits – many suits. Sometimes I want an outfit that is as well-fitting as a suit, but less formal. Jeans don’t do the trick, because they instantly make the outfit too casual and too edgy for this particular look.

So what do you do? You mix and match, that’s what!

The hardest and fastest rule here regards the fabric: if the jacket and the pants both sport a distinctive weave, don’t wear them together. If one is patterned and the other plain that should be okay, though. In terms of colour, I much prefer black trousers with either a navy or (and you might be surprised/have the urge to vomit) a brown jacket. Mixing black and brown has been a no-no since the dawn of fastidiousness, but most notably in the case of brown shoes with a black suit. I actually think that due to the rising trend in ‘industrial’ fashion (think All Saints), black and brown can work well if worn in even quantities (especially if the style of the mixed clothes is ‘worn’).

A rag-like scarf, brown All Saints Merino wool jumper, black tapered jeans, brown military boots and a brown, tough weave jacket looks awesome, so why not with suits?

Mixing colours is a dangerous, but potentially rewarding pastime. You could end up with a striking combination, or looking like your grandmother’s living room.

For interviews and formal situations, stay smart and stick with the full suit. In your free time go nuts and experiment. That’s all I can say…


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On Style: Pocket Watches...

It would be fair to ask whether one really needs a pocket watch these days. Rather surprisingly, I would say that you don’t. Believe it or not I do not own one functioning pocket watch (but am in the process of repairing one I got cheap on the internet).

The reason why I don’t find pocket watches a necessary addition is simply because to wear one with a wristwatch is bloody ridiculous, and thus removes the greatest tool on your person for expressing yourself. As a pocket watch is, quite obviously, kept in your pocket, it is an even more functional item than the wristwatch and really only demands wearing when you are going for full-on Victoriana.

And for that reason I’m restoring one as we speak, but only because I’m a devilishly self-indulgent fashionista. So sue me.

They are a bit of an extravagance, but lovely things to own and to wear occasionally, especially with French cuff shirts that may not allow for your normal watch due to their wrist-hugging tendencies.

Wear them exclusively with waistcoats, which can be worn without the jacket for a bit of edgy Victorian cool.


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On Style: The Churchill Look...

This post is in addition to the ‘Having a Look’ post, published previously:

If you want a little help getting started, look to old-fashioned politicians for inspiration – they had some of the best, most iconic looks that can be recreated very simply. I’m no entirely sure about the hat, but if you want an example of Great British Style, you can’t go far wrong with Winston Churchill, the epitome of masculine grit.


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NFL Wild Card Weekend...

Who Rocked?

In a weekend that saw the vibrant Chiefs, the playoff-tested Colts and the much-fancied Eagles fall to travelling teams, the major plaudits have to go to the one home team to prevail: the previously 7-9 Seattle Seahawks, who defeated the 11-5 world champions, the New Orleans Saints.

An historic division championship saw the sub .500 Seahawks stagger into the playoffs in 4th seed. Their vastly inferior record raised questions over whether the seeding process should be redesigned and removed an automatic top-4 berth for besting a bad division.

But it just wouldn’t work. Not unless the scheduling system was also updated to exclude double-headers between divisional rivals and if you took that step, there’d be no point in having divisions at all. Scheduling as it is – pitting good teams against tough opponents as a supplementary boon to high-drafting teams looking to go from worst to first in a year – places emphasis on winning your division.

Anyway, the Seahawks won and silenced their critics and the travelling Who Dat nation. Thanks in large part to holding that 4th seed. As the home team in the wild card round, the Seahawks were playing at Qwest Field – the NFL’s loudest stadium and the biggest advantage a soft secondary can ask for against the NFL’s most vaunted passing attack.

Here’s some interesting personal trivia for you: I placed a 4-part multiple on this weekend’s games. I went for the Ravens over the Chiefs (won), the Packers over the Eagles (won), the SEAHAWKS over the Saints (won!), and the Colts over the Jets (lost).

So I lost the bet thanks to Rex Ryan out-coaching Manning (yeah Manning), but for a while I was on cloud nine thanks to the Seahawks doing what I thought they might.

The Saints were without their running backs; they were travelling to the other side of the country; everyone knew they would have to lean on Drew Brees arm and Qwest Field is a nightmare for QBs who pass often and run complex schemes.

Sean Peyton is an awesome coach and, were it not for Marshawn Lynch breaking 8 tackles (wasting Tracy Porter in the process) en route to a 67 yard TD run in the fourth quarter, Drew probably would have kept the champs on the road to repetition.

But the Saints needn’t feel too bad: only New England has managed to win a playoff game the year after winning the big one, since Tampa Bay hoisted the Lombardi Trophy in 2002.

Can the Seahawks beat the Bears? Yeah, you know what? They can. But will they beat them at Soldier field? No. Soldier Field will see two more games this year as the Packer will upset the Falcons on their way to the Superbowl.

Prediction. Made.


Whose year is in the books?

The Indianapolis Colts are no more. Jim Caldwell’s playoff perennials fell at the first hurdle (and cost me a 78-1 multiple I was riding on). Goodbye boys, time to elt someone else have a go.


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On Style: Spectacles...

This section may be irrelevant to you.

Do not do a Clark Kent and wear fake prescription glasses because you like the look. It is not worth the embarrassment of being found out, which will happen the second somebody asks to try on your glasses (which should be within five nanoseconds of you debuting your faux blindness in public).

I have a very weak prescription for my left eye. I only use my glasses when reading black on white on an electric, backlit or projected screen. Without my glasses correcting some axial lisp I seem to have developed, my eyes go a googly – rolling in my head, flickering…the works. This is not a good look, so I have been forced to invest in some half-framed Police specs in brown.

Nice, but not at all naughty enough for my liking. Glasses are one of those things that can either draw the eye or turn it; they can be boring as sin – so boring you can forget anyone even bothering to appreciate the fineness of your tweed (take that as you will…) – or they can be outrageously riveting. Although in almost all regards I would plump for restraint, spectacles are one area I would go wild.

Ideally you should own a ‘sensible’ pair in black or, my favourite, tortoiseshell, in the right shape to accentuate your face (in a similar way to facial hair being able to work wonders with your mug, glasses can create illusions too), and a ‘jazzy’ pair.

Now, I’m not talking Tim Wonnacott – but it must be said, his glasses are cool, because he clearly loves them and gives so little of a shit about what you or I think, we have no choice but to assume he is right and that we are blazing buffoons for not owning in excess of fifty pairs of rainbow coloured reading glasses. Mad, aren’t we? – but I am advocating a similar strategy as employed by the Antiques Roadshow and Bargain Hunt regular.

Go wild with style. Preferably in a colourway that is transferable, but if not at least pick one you can wear with most of your favourite cloths comfortably.

You may notice, as I have done, that your wardrobe possesses a palette. Unsurprisingly, this is often your favourite colour and as long as that colour suits you better than all others, then that’s a good thing. I have seen many a woman obsessed with fuchsia pink, but unaware it makes her look like a rose bush or an inside-out whale. Shudder.

I have one brand name for you: Etnia Barcelona. Check them out. Find the style you like. Pick the colourway. Go nuts.


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On Style: Sunglasses...

It is important, nay, imperative, that you own at least one good pair of sunglasses. And by good, I don’t just mean some unbranded piece of crap you paid more than you were comfortable with because you were desperate: I mean reputable, reliable, guaranteed if possible, shades from a world-renowned dealer. And yeah, they are gonna cost you a bomb.

But it’s a bomb worth dropping. You can’t put a price on the health and safety of your peepers, so why skimp on a piece of kit that can not only protect their functionality, but make you look awesome in the process?

There are a couple of brands I would advise giving some consideration: Top of the list for build quality, range diversification and classic chic are Ray Bans. If you want the Aviator look, buy Ray Bans. If you want lightweight wire frames, buy Ray Bans. And seeing as you NEED a pair of Ray Bans Wayfarers, you’re probably going to have to buy RAY BANS.

As for those staple Wayfarers (that I might have mentioned you NEED) there is now plenty to choose from, in comparison to the more barren days of old.

The classic black frames (in Medium or Large, but not Small…don’t ask) now come in less classic, but twice as cool, red, blue, green, yellow, pink etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…

Coolest of all, though, and probably the second most wearable (after the black, which tend to go well with most things), are the tortoiseshell Wayfarers of the collapsible variety.

These are the pinnacle of nineteen-fifties, road tripping, rock ‘n’ roll, quiff-sporting modishness. They come in a sweet leather case, in which you can keep your near indestructible specs in when not in use, and they look classy with damn near everything you team them with, by virtue of their muted tones and dark lenses. About £140 from retailers, but cheaper online – hunt around and get yourself a bargain.


My personal favourite for Italian elegance, are the windscreen-esque shades from fashion stylist John Varvatos. At £170 a pop, they aren’t cheap, but they are sexy. They are also good for your eyes. A scientific study released over a year ago, lauded the benefits of large, screen like sunglasses that cover, not just the eye, but the surrounding area. Such overstated styles can vastly reduce the damage to your eyes and, if worn whilst riding a scooter or motorbike – pastimes for which their style would suggest they are tailored – they will keep the bugs out of your eyes and the eyes of passers-by on you.

For sport, choose Oakley: pricey but damn near indestructible and still the sleekest thing on the market by far. The new styles are more form than function, but they style feature Oakley’s trademark build quality. Be wary of smaller styles – especially ladies. I own a pair of Oakley Darts, which look great and fit well, but the lenses are not the top end and distort the bottom range too much for my liking and the price. Stick with the balls to the wall sports models like the Romeo and Juliet styles. You can’t go wrong.


Pick up THE HARE newspaper at Night and Day, Bar Centro, Font or Tiger Lounge in Manchester town centre, or the Oakwood in Glossop.

E-mail theharenewspaper@hotmail.co.uk with questions, comments or contributory pieces.